A day of many fights...

Today I woke up and felt encouraged, like I could face this day without heartache, and maybe feel strong in my Faith and less overwhelmed by the mountain in front of me. Yet by this evening I felt overwhelmed with emotion and no persective hope for the days to come. Each day is seriously a dark battle in a ton of ways, I know that so much of this time is emotional for very many reasons. I miss my friends and family, tomorrow is full of unknowns, my husband and I live apart and see eachother an hr or so a day and oh yes, I am 7 and 1/2 mo. pregnant and my hormones and energy levels get the best of me and my heart full of emotions. These are times when it is hard to believe that I am STANDING, because I feel like I am falling into some deep abyss, yet in the simplicity that My Mom is she said, "He promises that in our weakness, He is STRONG. All you have to do Megan is lean into Him." Amazing how simple and richly true this is, yet how impossible in moments it feels, am I doing that, or am I depending on myself to get through a day. Cause if I am leaning on him and deriving my strength from him them why am a mess eachday and why does it feel like I barely made it through.

As I write this in my heart I know that the TRUTH is there are seasons that we are leaning but they look and feel so Messy and like we are just getting through, barely. It is these seasons that we feel the most known by God and ourselves, the deep recess' come out of hiding and the stripping of all that we cling to fades away. There is only one to cling to, He is never changing and never ceasing to love and carry us, even if we "feel" he is far away.

This is why I write because, it sets me strong in my love and strength in God.

Ok, so on a practicl level. We need your prayers, Mike is going to talk with the "higher ups" today to see if we can get the process of him moving in with us moving forward. Now the military moves at a snails pace and I am trying to Trust God and His timing in this but have reached a point in my day to day where physically and emotionally, I need help from Mike, Rowan is busy and heavy and my body is at trimester three which means exhaustion sets in around dinner time everyday. If Mike gets approved, which is a very BIG exception in the army, but we are believing that this is going to happen, he will be home every night by 5:30 and home for the weekends. At this point we get to see him about everyother night for about 2 hours, in which Rowan and I go to base and drive around with him or go to there local eating area and get a snack. It is too hot to be outside, Mike has to be in full uniform which includes a wool baree' and there is no formal sitting area in his dorm , he is not allowed off base yet. Weekends are no exception.

All of that to say, please pray for favor and supernatural speediness, these rare things do happen in our life and we really need to see some miracles for our hearts sake. Also, My Mom is here and we are going to be finding furniture and organizing my apartment as well as hoping to get all this Dr. stuff squared away. By the way I found out yesterday it is quite a tedious process. I will have to be working with 3 Dr. from here on out in the pregnancy, an Ob/gyn, a perinatoligist (specialist in maternal fetal medicine), and a Neurologist ( the surgeon that will develop a plan for the baby after delivery), now this is a complicated process, to find three that work together at a LEVEL 3 hospital, that will take a 7mo. pregnancy on, as I am a huge liability to them and that takes our insurance. I have had some great help in this area, thank God and am hoping to set up appointments and get the ball rolling here soon. But please pray for Favor here and connection with these Dr. that they would be a team I feel safe with and can Trust. Also, begin to pray for all the costs to come, that we would see amazing miracles there.

Love to you all.
Megan