Thursday, September 30, 2010

Long lost Reuwers...

It has been months, months. I have never gone this long without an update. I feel like my heart needs to write it all out as much as all my far away friends are wondering how and what we are doing. I am not even sure where to begin. We wrapped up our time in San Antonio at the end of August. After coming home to Chicago and Wisconsin for back to back weddings. We all returned to San Antonio for a whirlwind 3weeks jam packed with surprises, appointments for Phoenix, packing and all the details of returning to our home in Wisconsin. It was crazy!

On August 10th, which is Evan's 4th Birthday, we had a reason to celebrate as we remembered his precious life. We found out I was Pregnant, I had a suspicion but with all the travelng and my always early pregnancy testing, I waited longer than usual. Surprised and even a little anxious when the lines indicating pregnant appeared.

After Phoenix, I asked God for a year before the next pregnancy and as far as we can figure, it was a week over a year, that we conceived. Love His sense of humor. We Trust that God is building our family one beautiful child at a time, but my Faith is shaken in these moments of surprise. Because I had no control, I wasn't doing everything right like I should have been. I immediately began to list these fears/ anxietys off to Mike and being the voice of steadiness and Truth in my life that he is, he reminded me that nothing is in my control. Because with Evan I did everything right and yet he was the most Fatal and with each of them I followed the Dr's. recommendations, but God knit them as they are and chose us as there parents. AMAZING!! So I had peace and Faith in God's perfect plan and not mine.

It has been bumpy at times, letting go of my anxieties and walking in peace is not always easy. But I am in the second trimester and feeling human minus the constant fatigue. This has by far been the easiest pregnancy in everyway. We had our first ultrasound at almost 10 weeks and the baby looks great. There are certain indicators that show whether there is concern for Spina Bifida and at that point things looked good. Sweet babes was moving all limbs, which was awesome to see, since we never saw that movement with Phoenix. At the 18 week ultrasound it was confirmed that all looks healthy and we are expecting a GIRL!!! For those of you who know me, know that this da has been long awaited for me!! Mike said he has not seen me that excited ever, which I can't believe as true.But I am still rejoicing in a little baby girl adn all the wonder of this desire of my heart coming to pass.

Onto other life essentials. Mike graduated from school at Ft.Sam Houston on August 24th!! He is officially a X-Ray tech and soon will be on the hunt for a job. Though, we found out the week becfore we left that he has a broken wrist and has for about 5 months. They never ordered an x-ray till it was bothering him all these months later. For may logistical reasons they did not cast him, and sent us home. We have been home a month and are just now getting the paperwork to enable him to make an appointment and get casted. Love the efficiency sometimes. It was a work related break so we are on their time frame. We are thankful for his ability to be home and help get all of our life back here sorted out, but would also love for his wrist to be taken care of, as it is bothering him more and more. (SINCE this post Mike has had a cast on and removed, will be starting physical therapy to encourage more healing)

Rowan, has turned into a quite the little boy. He is enthralled with super heros. All of them from Superman to Wolverine. Often making anything a costume and telling us what superhero he is,the bad guys ( ususally Mike and his uncle Jon) can never win against the hero of the day. Such a great communicator when it comes to his likes and dislikes, and emotionally aware as well. We are laughing a ton these days with him and at his quirky little vocabulary!! He loves to help me in the kitchen and has become a very helpful and Kind older brother. Awe, I am soo in love with my little man, we enjoy eachother so much!

Coming home to Wisconsin has been like a breath of fresh air for us all. It has felt natural and overwhelming all in the same moments. New therapists, Dr.'s, medical systems,insurance changes and lots of hoops to jump through to keep Phoenix growing. A house and all its demands. Beautiful wonderful relationships that we are still figuring out how to fit into our non-stop world. It can feel a little bit overwhelming. I come back to the basics of being thankful and taking time to Breathe. What a difference that can make. One moment at a time and extending grace to myself often.

Life looks so different for each of us. Learning to find your place and putting down roots there can be shaky. I feel that I am constantly learning who I am and how to find a place in the new life I lead. Expectations of what it should have looked like " " only lead me to feel discontent. But if I embrace the beauty of today and can learn to see the purpose in each moment, than life is FULL of pure joy and Beauty.

I will be updating more often as life is steadying out here!!

Love you all,