Pre-op fear and Good News, REALLY!!!

Yesterday, I had my pre-op visit, which i guess I did not mentally prepare for, because I was completely on the verge of tears most of the time. I guess it hit hard that I was undergoing this surgery, that has a ton of "possible" complications that are overwhelming !! In my mind the alternative birthing experience worked great and had way fewer complications, but that is just because i did not have to sign a waiver expressing all the statistics... anyway all that to say, I am at peace with this being the BEST way, though I would never chose it. Today after rest and refocusing that I get to meet Phoenix in a couple days, I am feeling much more at peace with the c-section and know that God is with me.

Today was my MRI that would help to confirm or disqualify the possible Holoproencephaly (HPE) diagnosis, which is a "non-viable with life" diagnosis. Our Dr. walked in with great news as she would say, this is one of the first times a Dr. has been able to say that to us, thus far in the journey. Phoenix does not have HPE and he they believe that it is just an extending result of Arnold-Chiari malformation which we knew about and she expressed to us that we should be encouraged because this rules out a lot of the fear of there being chromosomal anomalies, which means most of what is going on within Phoenix little body is treatable in some ways and that he may live a more "normal" life mentally that is. His mental capacity will not be known until later, but we do feel hopeful for that miracle as well.

We are thrilled at this report and are feeling hopeful and confident that we are going to see many more Miracles through Phoenix's life and the fight within him. I have been monitored this week to ensure that his heartbeat was well and that my fluid levels were good and all is well and a go for Monday. Some of our closest friends are coming in to town tomorrow and Sunday to be with us for the weekend and surgery and we are so thankful for all the love, prayers and encouragement from everyone that knows us, we can never understand all that God is doing but we appreciate and feel grateful for the Support we have received from all of you, I know we would not be able to do it without you.

Mike or I will update Monday, soon after my surgery and when we know a little bit more about Phoenix's first surgery and all his evaluations. Please continue to pray, as the days ahead are full of uncertainity and lots of hard decisions.

Love to you all